We have moved!

Ed: Myk goes on a hangover-fuelled rant about the Great Graphical Debate. With not a hint of objectivity in sight. Just the way we like it:

Humans, eh? Attracted to each other as they are, if they don’t get what they want, they go somewhere else. Now I find the opposite sex really rather nice, but if Saturday night doesn’t produce one that catches my eye, then I can find a selection of images that just might. Simple really. I do not think any less of these people or make assumptions about their private life.

But deviancy can be better levelled at another, less obvious type of character; graphic whores. These obsessive, whining miscreants do nothing but infest the gaming community with dismissive, casual comments but all it realises is how anal and retarded their viewpoints actually are. Geometry Wars on the 360 played through in High Definition is undoubtedly spectacular, but this does not mean that the Wii version lacks any game substance from that found on the aforementioned XBox 360.

From here I could go into detail about the Dreamcast version of Soul Calibur still looking great or Exit on the PSP, and soon to be the DS, which just looks ace. Blah Blah Blah, etc. The point is that these people need to be set on fire and pushed over a very tall, dry cliff. Keep looking for next time when the merits of development milestones just means the introduction of marketing dross for mass-market consumption.

On this cold, wintry March come a batch of new game releases. There’s nothing we love more than a steaming batch of games, fresh from the oven, albeit burnt slightly from delayed release dates and changes to the recipe.

Sorry about that analogy, that’s the result of writing an article while simultaneously watching ‘Ready, Steady Cook’. An unworthy sacrifice as Ready Steady Cook is rubbish.

Jump to the full article for the list of games along with videos showing why we picked them… (more…)

Absurd though it might seem, the industry of computer games and all its bretheren are in a small cycle of flux. In recent years, we have seen the spectacular crash of E3 and the rise of smaller, more focused gatherings that adhere to something a little more down to earth. That of slagging off each others consoles because they don’t fit within our specific lifestyles. Well let me tell you a little known fact this side of ‘Electric Town’ :- all electronic games are not worth the entrance fee, let alone the bit of plastic/metal/chuffbox they were printed on.

My current favourite console to slag off is the Nintendo Foreskin. So called due to the abstract colours they were initially launched with. Now call me Mr Game Hater if it makes you feel any better, but this constant rubbing of the peripheral on my genitalia does not good interactive entertainment make. Just give me a week to let the swelling subside and I’ll show you just what I think of the whole idea.

Next time, I think I’ll have a go at the ‘American Mother Swallowers of small independant games developers who haven’t shown an ounce of originality since the dawn of mankind’, EAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!’